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When You Both Need Each Other...

When You Both Need Each Other and You Both Don't Have the Energy


Disney movies portray them as "the" destination. "The" happy ending. Well, if you confirm this to someone who's been married for a while, they would say, "eh!..." Not because their unhappy or ungrateful but because they know it isn't. It really isn't "the" destination or "the" happy ending everyone's been dreaming about. There is more to marriage than what is shown in movies.

I've been married for almost four years now. There are happy times and there are "eh..." times. The greatest challenge is when you both need each other and the both of you don't have the energy to give to your partner. Now, the question is, who is going to adjust? Should it be the wife or the husband?

Our present society has many different opinions on this. Some say it should be the wife, others say it should be the husband. Well, I don't think there should be one specific rule for this but if both the partners don't have the energy to give the needs of his or her spouse, the best resort is to pray specially when you don't know what to do.

I remember a lot of times during my marriage when I would be tired at work and my husband feels sick, or when he is worried about our finances and I would feel sad for no reason (Wives, have you ever experienced this?). When we want to express how we need each other, we both just get frustrated and we end up having a somewhat un-winnable discussion (if there is a term for that). Finally when we are both a little more calm, I would say a short, silent prayer to help me control my thoughts and actions. It isn't always immediately effective but it works.

I once recall an advise a Church mate said about marriage, "It is a lifelong adjustment with your partner. Everyday you need to adjust to YOUR PARTNER's needs - yes you heard that right - and everyday you will learn and discover something new about your spouse." Well, it is true. And yes, YOU should be the one to adjust. Remember you are two different individuals from different backgrounds coming from different families so it will never be easy. But with humility and prayer, your marriage can last a lifetime.

When was the last time you both needed each other and the both of you didn't have the energy to fulfill each other's needs? What did you do and what happened? I will be waiting for your comments! 

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. - Ephesians 4:2-3

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